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DOING DISTANCE – A psychological toolkit for armed forces children

NCC Doing Distance

Being a child of somebody in the armed forces can have a huge impact on the way that we see the world. A common theme amongst armed forces children is separation whether that be through deployments, weekending it or moving from place to place away from friends and family. This can often bring up a whole range of emotions and quite often these can be difficult to process. Working with Bear us in Mind, we have adapted their resources to guide adults through supporting children and teenagers to process these emotions they are experiencing.

 

Our worksheets are all accessible through our website to download for free, and we also have our Naval Children’s Charity bears which can be requested through our website. These worksheets, activities and resources all have a purpose which are explained in the accompanying videos.

Balancing Memories

Some memories are fantastic and spark joy, while others can be very difficult for a child to manage. Balancing the strong feelings of separation is also about balancing memories, so, while talking about a range of memories is often hard, a child’s memory muscle must be exercised and strengthened. This activity can help a child to understand that we can’t ignore the difficult stuff, nor can we let it dominate, and it will guide you in supporting a child as they think and talk about different types of memories.

The video helps to explain how the worksheet can help.

Friendship Rainbow

Having one or two trusted friendships is a strong indicator for resilience in children. Children often love doing this simple yet impactful activity about friendship. Even a child who is less artistic can easily create a jar that they feel proud to retain. As they get lost in colouring the white salt you can talk about their friendships. A special bond will be established between you and the child as you understand more fully what friendship means to them.

 

The video helps to explain how the worksheet can help.

We are Family

These activities represent the unity and strength of family (even when separated). You can use toys to encourage children to open up about how they are feeling as well as bringing them comfort and helping them to feel safe and secure. Soft toys can become trusted companions to children, helping them to manage fear and separation anxiety and to feel connected to people they care about.

The video helps to explain how the worksheet can help.

Growing around Separation

Faced with so much change, a child may feel overwhelmed and suffocated by separation. This worksheet describes activities you can use to support a child to grow around their feelings, not by ignoring them, but by looking at how they can reevaluate their lives.

 

The video helps to explain how the worksheet can help.

Little Box of BIG Thoughts

The Little Box of BIG Thoughts is designed to help older children or adults have a conversation with someone close by who is important to them, or perhaps to process thoughts and feelings about someone who has died. It can be used to show a young person that just because someone is no longer with them, their connection to that person remains.

 

This tool will help by starting every sentence for them. It is simply a collection of sentence starters, which a person can finish on paper or say out loud to you, helping them to voice their feelings and memories as well as processing complex, commonly bottled-up emotions, such as anger, shame, survivor guilt and regret.

The video helps to explain how the worksheet can help.

This is Me

This is all about helping the child to see their unique identity. This creative worksheet by Laura Hambleton allows children to shape a conversation about how they want to be seen.

 

Included in the toolkit is an activity that encourages children to choose their own favourite photos and turn them into a photo album. They’ll then be asked to write a sentence that describes each photo – one that can capture the moment and any emotions it brings to the fore. This is not just restricted to family either, as children might find their support circle extends to friends or a supportive teacher. These albums will be a long-lasting reminder of lives old and new that they take into their future.

 

Looking through old photographs can be an emotional process, but it also helps strengthen our sense of identity and connection.

The video helps to explain how the worksheet can help.